'Nigga, please!'

DISCLAIMER: It's 2am, I have been writing on my latest script for 3 hours and I'm starving. This blog post will most likely jump all over the place. Continue at your own risk.

Here are a few things that a lot of you may not know about me:

-I'm a English Major

-I am a hip hop head

-I am a writer

That means that I have a unique relationship with words. Not just the string of letters that make up a word. But the actual meanings and interpretations behind those words. This blog is about a word that seems to be the source of much angst and confrontation.

...NIGGA!

This blog has been in the works for like 2 months, but over the last 2 weeks, a couple of things have happened that almost FORCED me to write it. But I'll get to that later.

My mother once told me when I was younger that I shouldn't argue with white people about matters of race because it would be impossible for them to understand my position. I've come to realize that truer words were never spoken. Don't get me wrong, I am ALWAYS up for a passionate discussion about the topic. But I've learned how to recognize when a healthy, passionate discussion is heading towards an argument, and that's when I usually humbly bow out.

Why does this matter?

Because I've recently made the choice to stop using that word around white people, altogether. The reason for this is because I have determined that there are a good number of white people who don't seem to understand that it is not OK for them to say the word - in any context - regardless of who you hear say it. In fact, I have a declaration to make, right here and now, to all my white friends and future family members. There's no interpretation needed, no reading between the lines. It's very black and white. Ready? Here goes:

I can say that word all I want. You, on the other hand, cannot!

Sounds hypocritical, right? It is...very much so. No doubt about it. It's about as clear and cut a double-standard as you will ever find. But, it is one of those things that just IS. Yes, there are reasons behind it. But to be 100% honest, me going into them in any amount of detail would just come off as ignorant, self-indulgent or me having a sense of entitlement. None of which are true; but seeing as I have traveled down that road before, I don't think I'm gonna go down it again. Now by no means do I consider myself a revolutionary, a Sharpton-esque type of guy. In fact, I despise those types of people. I'm a big believer in calling a spade a spade when it comes to discrimination and racism, but not in seeking out angles and avenues to turn any sort of injustice into the second coming of Jim Crow. But what I can't really stomach is white people using that pesky word around me. I have no problem asking a stranger who uses that word what makes the think it's okay to do so. And here is the bottom line: If you say it, and I ask you politely what makes you think it's okay to do so, and you flippantly tell me 'Because you say it!' or 'It's all good, I say it around all my black friends. They don't mind!', there is a pretty decent chance that I will punch you in the face. Or we will get into a discussion that will lead to a place that neither one of us wants to end up. And who wants that? Certainly not me. So, to keep that from happening, I'm no longer going to use it around white people. That's that. Moving on.

Now comes tricky part: using the around others of the same race.

Most black people identify with one of two schools of thought:

a) The word should not be used at all, by anyone, as it is disrespectful to all black people, our ancestors and there sacrifices, and there is nothing good that can come of it.

or

b) Both the word itself and the meaning and connotations are different than it they were in generations past and that there is nothing wrong with using the word.

I identify with both, if that makes any sense. I guess if I was forced to hop of the fence, I'd say that I'm more of a B'er. As I said before, I use the word all the time. And I will continue to do so. Why? Because I am very comfortable using the word and know when how to censor myself when the situation warrants. However, I can certainly understand the point of view of anyone who identifies with A. Some of my best friends fall in line with that viewpoint, and who am I to disrespect that? But it seems that us B'ers don't get the same respect from the A crowd. Here's an example:

I recently used the word when commenting to a friend on a certain social networking site that shall go unnamed. One of their female family member's decided to crusade for all that was right and pure in the world and proceeded to tell me not only that they did not understand why I felt the need to use that word, but that my use of the word personally offended her.

You are offended by my use of the word? Not a problem. One of my life mottos is 'Pride and ego destroy great men'. I had no problem humbling myself and apologizing for offending her by using the word in mixed company. But not for the obvious reasons. In no way to do I feel the need to defend my use of the word itself. I apologized because I respect the person who I made the comment to and, by proxy, I respect his family.

But she decided to take it a step further and indirectly refer to me as a moron, attack my character, wonder out loud of I was 'too stupid to find some other noun to use' and stated that anyone who wanted to comment that the word was OK to use would be 'verbally assaulted'.

This is the part that I have a problem with.

I don't want to toot my own horn, but I am very articulate, well-read and beyond intelligent. I am college educated (somewhat...yikes!) and have a mastery over the English language that is well above average. Remember when our grade school teachers told us that the kids who used curse words were the ones who weren't smart enough to think of any other words to use? Well, that was a FUCKING myth! I defy anyone to listen to my usage of four letter words and equate that with my IQ score. You'd be in for quite a surprise. Don't let the sloppy blog, tattoos and potty mouth fool you, people.

My son is crying...be right back!

Ok. False alarm. Back to business.

Now, the person who made those comments seems very intelligent and seems to have a good head on her shoulders and a good heart. Is there a reason she could not have respected my word choice as my own, let her feelings be known and move on...the way that I did? Am I subject to indirect verbal assault, character assassination and petty name calling if my word choice does not fall in line with the next person? Something about that doesn't seem right.

If she is reading this, which is quite possible, please don't take it as some sort of attack. Clearly..it's not. If you are as sharp as you seem, you should be able to tell that I wouldn't throw shots at you, even though we have never even met in person. Just my curiosity getting the best of me. Feel free to comment.

HIP HOP LYRIC OF THE DAY:

I told her all about how we been living a lie/ and that they'd love to see us all to go to prison or die/ like 'baby, look at how they show us on the tv screen!'/but all she ever wants me to do is to unzip her jeans.

-J.Cole, 'Lights, Please'